A few of the BAPP’s crew have come together for a united post. For more fantastic plant/sex posts, check out:
Plantgasm
Dirty Girl Gardening
Phyte Club
And for those of you who don’t really care to read on, that’s fine…
Click here.
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Today we explore some of the more intriguing qualities of a few Carnivorous plants. Yes, these plants are indeed unlike any other for they employ a wonderful method of seduction to draw their captive audience in. This fatal attraction is nothing short of phenomenal – it’s SEXY… Oh hell yes. These plants literally do make a living off of their HAWT seduction skills!
Check out the oh-so-sensual Sarracenia out for example.
“For the lips of an adulteress drip honey. Her mouth is smoother than oil.” (Proverbs 5:3)
Sarracenia leucophylla “Purple Lips” x flava var. ornata
The victims are drawn to her by the sweet aroma she emits, her sexy colors and those hot vein-ey designs tattooed all over her hot pitchers – and who could resist those sweet wet dripping lips?!?
Sarracenia mitchelliana x “willisii” offering her seducing nectar
to her suitor. They’re busy makin out…
Bug-Dude is enticed and excited… thinkin’, “I’m gonna get me some action tonight! YYYEEAHH BAYBEEEE!! Let’s get this ON!” So, Dude throws down and is getting all happy. He starts gettin’ busy making out with the plant and drinking her sweet nectar. He decides to takes this thing up to the next level.
Sarracenia ‘Leah Wilkerson’ x ‘Wilkerson’s Red’ and the
Bug Dude about to take it to the next level…
It starts to get hot and heavy for both of them. She got his blood a’ flowin’… and her depth of mystery just entices him on. He explores her wonderland of a body. She urges him on to explore her hole. He can’t resist her powerful seduction, so he thrusts himself deeper…
and deeper…
Sarracenia moorei urging her suitor to go deeper…
too bad dude here isn’t using protection.
He should of brought a safety net.
Unable to control himself, he keeps going deeper and deeper, getting lost in her seductive embrace. He finally lets his guard down and his world is falling around him.
Spinning… lost in a downward spiral of lustful fatal bliss.
He only lasted a minute then starts to shoot down her throat. She doesn’t hesitate and swallows … him up. Oh hell yes.
Sarraceniagasmic.
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She’s good. So good in fact that the payment for her services costs his life. To every guilty pleasure, there is a price…
The Sarracenia’s fatal seduction claiming it’s victims…
Sarracenia’s seduce their meals by color, scent, and that sweet dripping ambrosia. Powerful stuff indeed. The sweet secretion literally is intoxicating. Sarracenia flava nectar, for example, is said to contain coniine. The glands around the pitcher mouth secrete this sweet sexy substance, and lure and urge the prey even further in. As the unsuspecting bug drinks this amazing nectar, it starts to get drunk, and looses it’s foothold her slippery throat and slips in. As the prey slides down her throat, the waxy smooth walls make it difficult to gain a foothold to escape. And once in, there is little chance of escape. Downward pointing hairs that prevent the insect from climbing back up. Instead it is pushed deeper into the hole by it’s own movements… only to end up as a meal for the temptress plant.
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Let’s look at a few other sexy meat eaters… like Nepenthes, for example.
A friend of mine called them “Condom plants.” I really have no idea why she called them that. Where would she get that idea?!
Are you happy to see me or is that a Nepenthes in your pocket?
Un-opened Nepenthes pitcher…
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And recently reported was a Nepenthes munching on a tit. Not just any tit. A great tit!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-14416809
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And of course, let us not forget the lovely Tipitiwitchet!!! (EW EW EW!)
Tipitiwitchet: What do you see?
A tippiti-whut?? What’s that you ask? I won’t bore you with the details here, but if you really want to know then check out Barry Rice’s explanation here…
Rad. Now go uncurl your toes, read the other blogs, then go plant something. 🙂
[S. courtii AF x “Green Monster” – August 12, 2011]
