F R U S T R A T I O N
Hey all. It’s been a few months since I’ve moved here. It is with great sadness that I am writing to report that things are not working out the way I’d like at all. Nowhere close. DUDE IT SUCKS. I have tried to remain optimistic about my current facilities and situation here, but I have to be realistic. IT IS NOT WORKING HERE. Yes this indeed is a new journey with a rough start – but again, I have to remind myself that this is temporary.
As you can see in this photo, the plants are alive – but are colorless and not in their prime. This is quite horrifying for me. Some are falling over as you can see. The flavas and a few other plants seem to be OK. The Nepenthes, Cephalotus, Heliamphora, and Darlingtonia are all doing good in these conditions – surprisingly! If my main focus was Nepenthes, or any of the other plants I think I’d be fine here.
I look at my past posts and see how well the plants were doing and how happy they were. So vibrant, so full of color and growth. And then I look at the plants now and have an overwhelming sense of pure frustration. I’m more frustrated than anything else right now. I’ve gone through quite a lot in the past few months – letting go of the house, (I still have dreams of the house by the way…), moving, adjusting… DAMN. I know that growers will always have a bad year here and there. THIS is my bad year. FUCK.
Old fiberglass that will not let me get the light I need.
One of the major causes of frustration is the old fiberglass that covers the space. Yeah, there’s some brighter spots in the greenhouse, but it’s still not good enough. At least for my liking. It was said that things would be brighter during summer, but it’s not bright enough. Ventilation and water (close to 300 PPM) in this area is also another issue. I run a fan, have small vents and run a DI water filter to help negotiate these challenges. But dude, really?! All 3 things that I need are sub par here. I didn’t have a choice at the time I went through the transition but on the bright side (ha ha ha…) is that I have a place, right?
Again, YES – the plants are alive, but they are not at their prime. That just frustrates me. Last weekend my wife Dahlia and I had a chance to visit our friends Miko and Marie – who have a few of our plants. I was so happy to see the plants there strong, full of life, and developing rich color. So happy to see that! (Thanks again Miko and Marie!)
I’m in uncharted waters with sub-par growing conditions. The greenhouse I am in is in dire need of updating and repair. The facilities are not optimal and I am doing my best and fighting for my passion. Honestly, it is depressing to see things the way they are, but times are not always easy. We just learn to to keep fighting and give it our best. I am thankful for the support I’ve been getting from friends, family, and from you, the readers out there. I am also so very thankful for my wife who has been there to encourage and support this crazy passion I have for all things carnivore and garden. Life is a funny thing, but we just learn to roll with it. Better days are ahead.
The next few blog posts will have plants that aren’t as colorful as in years past — so sorry about that and thanks for understanding. I’m surprised the flowers are doing as well as they are. I really am hoping that the lower light levels wont affect pollination/seed production. Time will tell.
Am I crazy to continue to pursue this? HELL YEAH. YES I am crazy. Maybe a little. A little crazy is always good thing right?
Given the circumstances though, I am grateful and thankful that at least the plants are alive and that I can continue my breeding efforts. I’ve lost plants every year. That is always a given… but this year has been more unspeakingly painful than any other year. SUCKS. As you can see, the plants are surviving. Just not as colorful as I’d like. I also have a pot full of tags of plants I’ve lost in the move. Transitions are never easy. 2012 so far has been a freakishly challenging year, but I will continue to fight.
All of this said, I do have a couple things in the works and I look forward to brighter days ahead. I know that things will get better and although I’m frustrated and QUITE pissed off, I know I will look back on this and laugh… 🙂 Stay tuned!